Ocean Rose
by Scruff the Rat
Summary: Thanks to Rhonda's marriage predictor, Helga's not the only one with a result that leaves her hoping for the future...that is, as long as nothing gets out of hand. Unfortunately, that's wishful thinking.
1. Roulette

**This story takes place three weeks after Chapter 13 of "Touch and Go", so no, this isn't quite a sequel. Keep that in mind as you read. I only own Milo, by the way. Everyone else belongs to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon.**

**_"Let us not love with words or tongue but with action and truth."_**_—1 John 3:18_

* * *

_'Almost done...almost there...just one more detail for the hair and—'_

"Eugene, oh, that's wonderful!"

The abruptness of a familiarly peppy (and unnecessarily loud) voice disrupted this train of thought. A pencil slipped out of the hand of its owner as a result and left an unsavorily long mark across the drawing.

Teeth gritted at the slip-up, careful enough not to show too much of themselves.

Yes, Milo Mahana was considerably ticked right now.

_'That Sheena better have a really good reason for her overdone excitement because it just wasted me valuable time and effort.'_

When he tore his stare away from his drawing and angrily looked across the playground from the bench he was sitting on, he noticed the tall flower-girl and Eugene holding hands, the former gazing down at him with pure elation.

Milo's eyebrows couldn't help raising themselves at the sight.

Were those guys going out now?

"I'm gonna marry Eugene!"

The sketchbook fell out of Milo's hands immediately afterwards. He barely noticed, too stunned by Sheena's words, mouth agape and eyes the size of dinner plates.

Whoa! Marry? What? Was that girl serious?

Eugene, Milo quickly noticed, grinned as well, but the younger boy could tell even from a mile away that the expression was forced, his reason most likely to avoid Sheena ending up heartbroken...or homicidally enraged.

Poor guy...

"Oh...well, gosh, I'm sure we'll be very happy, heh..." the school jinx halfheartedly replied, sighing forlornly to himself with a resigned frown the second Sheena diverted her attention to...

Milo shook his head with an annoyed grimace and a twitch of one of his eyelids.

His eyes weren't deceiving him.

Sure enough, there was Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, a haughty smirk on her face as always, lounging out on a table as if she were the queen of the school (which wasn't too far from the truth, in Milo's opinion), Phoebe and Nadine seated beside her.

Upon closer inspection, Milo noticed that she held something in her left hand, twirling the object around in her fingers every few seconds.

Just what in the world was that girl up to now?

"Well, of course you will! The origami marriage predictor is never wrong. According to my own scientifically accurate method—"

_'Scientifically accurate...? Lord, give me strength.'_

No wonder Sheena mentioned marriage. Did Rhonda honestly believe that a folded-up piece of paper had the uncanny ability to predict people's future love-lives?

"Rhonda Lloyd, with all due respect, I say you have officially lost it," Milo uttered under his breath with a sigh and a shake of his head. Despite the tolerance he'd been developing towards the heiress ever since being inducted into Mr. Simmons' class, he couldn't help but sometimes ponder about what went through that woman's head.

Blocking out the rest of that crazy dame's s explanation to the best of his ability, Milo bent down to retrieve his sketchbook and pencil.

Now how to remove that pesky mark with just minimal damage?

"Hey, Sparky, how's tricks?"

The familiarly snarky voice made the boy look up; a relieved grin stretched across his face at the sight of P.S. 118's pigtailed hell-girl.

"Oh hey, Helga, I'm just doing the usual sketching." His face twisted into a slight smirk. "Say, have you checked out what's going on over there?"

Milo pointed a finger at Rhonda, Helga following with her eyes and instantly scoffing and rolling her blue eyes upon realization.

"Tch, don't remind me. Rhondaloid's been goin' on about that lame marriage-predictor of hers all day long."

"She honestly thinks it'll accurately decide who each of us will marry when we're older."

Helga had to shake her head. "Criminy, how screwball can ya get...or desperate for that matter? Who says any of us will even _want_ to marry when we're older?"

With a firm nod, Milo turned his gaze skywards.

"Don't forget that her method is pretty unfair in hindsight. From what I've overheard Rhonda say, that predictor only has the names of everyone in the class, yours and mine included." He crossed his arms over his chest, his mouth set in a discomforted and subtly sad frown. "For all we know, some of us might marry someone who isn't from this school...or this planet for that matter."

Helga raised half her monobrow and shot Milo an incredulous stare, holding out a hand to gesture him to stop right there.

"Whoa, hang on a minute, Sparky. Are you serious?"

Her little brother merely shrugged as he switched his gaze back to her. "Well, yeah, I am. The future can be so unpredictable and there's so little we know about the worlds beyond our—"

His explanation was cut off by his big sister waving out her palm at him. "I meant what you said about your name being on Princess's lame marriage predictor."

One could practically hear Milo's eyes rolling in their sockets.

"Oh yeah, that. Honestly, I have no idea. I'm not even old enough to consider having a relationship, let alone who I want to marry. In fact, I don't think that's something any of us should be considering before high school...or at least the sixth grade."

To hear that sort of opinion didn't surprise Helga. Milo had always been mature for his age, seeing and noticing what most other kids and even some adults either overlooked or glossed over.

On the other hand, maturity does not always equate experience.

Just look at Arnold and how much his disastrous outgoings in romance revealed his sense of experience with women, for example.

Hillwood's resident blonde dynamo tilted her head and smirked in faint amusement at Milo's conviction, "Uh hello, has a certain pipsqueak who hasn't had a girl look his way yet forgotten who he's talking to?"

"Has a certain hopeless romantic forgotten who _she's_ talking to?" the younger child retorted in a mild tone, raising an eyebrow at her, "Helga, there's a difference between fantasizing about the person you love and taking that actual love to the next level."

If this had been anyone else, Helga would have surely tossed them behind the dumpsters and threatened to staple their mouth shut if they so much as let even a little peep out about her secret love for the old Football Head.

In fact, she probably would've done that to Milo, too, three weeks ago (to be more precise) if the little guy had done the same thing.

Not anymore, though, not after the significant bond the two kids had formed after their signing into the Sunny Smiles Siblings program...and especially not after that fateful Saturday night when they banded together to prevent Rhonda from eternally soiling Helga's reputation.

_'I'll give ya props for the solid comeback, Sparky,'_ Helga mused pensively. She had to admit, her "little brother" made a valid point.

Dreams and fantasies could go far, after all, but only so far.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Helga noticed that this time Rhonda seemed to be having a conversation with Lila, the redhead beauty seated on a nearby wall-bench. The scene made the Pataki girl bristle a little for some reason.

This shift in her demeanor did not escape Milo's notice, and neither did the conversation going on across from the pair. Milo knew better than to call Helga out on any of her feelings regarding Lila, so he wisely sought to change the subject.

"Hmph, I wonder what Lila's result would be?"

Helga smirked at him, her brief defensiveness gone. She already knew what Milo's angle was in asking that question, but she understood and was sort of touched that he meant to divert her anger. Sometimes Sparky was just as sweet as Arnoldo.

"Gee, what happened to all that talk about how that predictor unfairly charts out our future?"

Milo jovially scoffed at the quip. "I meant it's a poor form of prediction, Helga. I never said it couldn't have its entertaining moments."

A curious look crossed the blonde's eyes, obvious even through the usual sarcasm.

"So since when do you consider Little Miss Perfect, of all people, entertaining?"

Oh that's right, Milo realized. Helga still had a beef with Lila due to Arnold's continued crush on her. The country girl was a topic the two outcasts, along with Phoebe, preferred to avoid as much as possible due to their difference of opinions regarding her.

Unlike Helga, Milo didn't mind Lila; he even liked her sometimes. Not enough to consider her a good or close friend, no—overexposure to her mannerisms and over-politeness grated his nerves—but at least enough to tolerate her presence to the point that they could peaceably coexist in school.

Milo shrugged his shoulders as he and Helga watched Lila respond to Rhonda's apparent offer to try out the marriage predictor next. The girl in green was pointing at the clock that hung over the door to indicate that not much time remained for recess.

"Her naiveté is..."—Milo squinted his eyes as his brain sought an appropriate adjective"—''refreshing."

Refreshing, huh?

Helga didn't appear convinced by his answer but she decided against pushing the matter further since Milo was still greatly prone to retreating or clamming up if pushed too far, even with his new sibling relationship with her taken into account.

Just then, the bell rang and everyone on the playground either got off the equipment or gathered their stuff together before heading inside for the rest of today's classes.

Helga followed suit with Milo in two until she noticed Arnold and Lila talking and smiling near the doorway. She stopped in her tracks with a teeth-gritted growl and severely tightened fists.

For his big sister's sake of privacy, Milo pretended to look the other way as he followed his classmates into the building.

_'Someone definitely needs some time alone for now. Besides, she's not the only one with an unconfirmed relationship to worry about.'_

* * *

Fortunately, the rest of the day went by without incident.

Before long, P.S. 118's front doors flew open as its students poured out like doves finally released from centuries-long confinement.

Among them were Arnold, Gerald, and Milo, the boys heading to the Boarding House to get a head-start on their homework so they'd have as much time as possible to goof off.

The trio hardly noticed Rhonda and Peapod Kid's finishing up a conversation about Nadine, and Milo hardly paid attention (a rarity for him) when the rich girl singled out Arnold and insisted he take her test next.

_'Arnold's gonna give a perfectly reasonable answer and we'll be free to go.'_ Easy as pie...in fact, Milo even had a mental countdown for Arnold's answer, which would come in three, two...

"I'll just wait and see."

Yep, just as Milo figured...except Rhonda had an ace up her sleeve...

"It could be Lila."

And _there_ it was.

Despite Rhonda's well-played move, Milo still winced at the statement, hoping a certain someone didn't leap out of a nearby trash-can to commit potential murder.

_'Helga, if you heard that, I seriously hope you're keeping your wits about yourself right now.' _

Speaking of wit, Milo noticed out of the corner of his eye how Gerald was playfully ribbing Arnold about taking the test...and playing out how his own best friend would end up with a woman he'd "pledge his life to and cherish, honor, and obey 'til death will they part."

It was an oddly impressive play-out, to Milo's surprise. _'I'll give Gerald this. He may be a dork when it comes to dating, but he sure knows how to lay on the romance.'_

All the same, there was no sense in waiting to hear Arnold's result, let alone getting excited over it, so Milo figured he'd sit down and catch up on his sketching. He only hoped Rhonda would make her nonsense quick and relatively painless.

"What about _you_, Milo?"

Oh no, she wouldn't dare.

"Don't tell me you're just as scared of the truth...are you?"

She'd dare.

Milo had to resist the strong urge to bang his head against the brick walls of the school. Damn it, now there was no way of backing out of this matrimonial Russian roulette.

_'Ugh, where's a disappearing spell when you need one?'_

Standing up with a grimace, Milo automatically sent a warning glare to both Arnold and Gerald, assuring the former that he didn't need rescuing and the latter that any jokes on his part would indubitably result in a severely shortened lifespan.

He shot a glance over his shoulder back to Rhonda, remembering his own words from earlier. He meant what he said to Helga about his scrutiny over that predictor. Unfortunately, if he walked away now, Rhonda and Gerald would never let him hear the end of it.

No way out—his only option was to play along so that this stupid game would end as soon as possible. Milo turned to Rhonda with a grimace.

"Alright, let's get it over with."

"Alright, Milo," Rhonda replied with gusto, "Pick your favorite number."

"Six."

_1-2-3-4-5-6_

"Now pick your favorite color."

"Green..."

_G-R-E-E-N_

"And now, Milo, the final question: what day of the month were you born?"

Final question...? Oh thank God...

"The third..."

_1-2-3_

"And now the results..."

Tapping a finger against his side in impatience, Milo took a deep breath and prepared to walk away the instant Rhonda flipped the flap and gave him the outcome.

The heiress only met half of the artist's expectations.

Her eyes grew wide the moment they read the name and her smirk vanished instantly, actions that did not go unnoticed by the three boys in front of her.

Arnold tilted his head in worry. Was Rhonda okay? Who could his little brother have ended up with to send her into such shock?

"Is something wrong, Rhonda?"

"Um," Rhonda looked up and shot an unsure, almost untrusting, glance at her classmate, "Arnold, could I...have a word with Milo for a second?"

The boys all shared a look of confusion before Milo nodded and followed Rhonda to the back of the school.


	2. Secret

**Me: Alright! Give it to 'em straight, Pataki! **

**Helga: Yeah, yeah, tone down the excitement, Rat Boy. Scruff owns only the original characters and this story. Everybody else, including yours truly, belong to Craig and Nick.**

**Me: Thank you, Miss Pataki, now on with the story!**

* * *

Milo stared blankly at the name, eyes wide.

He swore he wasn't seeing right—he kept swearing he wasn't seeing right...yet sure enough the bold black letters were as plain as day.

**LILA.**

A glance up at Rhonda showed just about as much disbelief on the prima-donna's face. A surprise really, considering she would normally wouldn't mind a juicy tidbit of gossip at someone else's expense.

_'Maybe she really does feel for my situation.' _Milo shook his head of the thought, deciding not to question it any further lest he push his luck.

"You _are_ kidding...right?"

"I'm...just as taken back as you are." Rhonda rechecked the name as if to make sure her eyes still weren't playing tricks on her. "I mean, I expected Phoebe or maybe even Helga. But..."

But it _was_ unexpected.

Milo and...Lila...

Lila...and Milo...

Those two were just as much of opposites as Helga and Arnold were.

Though certainly not a perpetual mope, Milo wasn't exactly who you'd call a ray of sunshine either. He was more of a "half-full, half empty" kind of guy, someone who preferred to hear and see both sides of the tale before making many final judgments. He could also be pretty intense and even sometimes cold if he wanted to be, traits he shared with his mother.

Lila, on the other hand, practically radiated sunshine, mostly because that's probably all she ever chose to see. In fact, most of the country girl's classmates, Milo included and especially Arnold, could recount how often Lila added some degree of niceness to every comment she had to say about something well...not so nice.

Like how she told Arnold how nice it was of him not to mind the fact that she threw up on him while at the Cheese Festival...

Milo knew this for a fact since Helga recounted it to him while they'd been down at the piers with Phoebe one Saturday afternoon.

_'Actually, it's kind of hilarious to imagine Lila saying that so sweetly, especially in hindsight.' _Milo shook his head smirking, utterly mystified. _'Phew boy; and people say I'm weird.'_

And that paper gimmick actually says a guy like him was going to end up marrying a girl like that?

...

_'Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.'_

Wait a second; where did _that _come from? Milo shook his head vigorously again once he finally registered that thought.

Okay, so Lila was tolerable in moderate doses. That didn't mean Milo would love nothing more than to be married to her one day.

But did that mean he hated the idea?

_'Do I?'_

Looking back on all the reactions he had seen so far in regards to Rhonda's marriage predictor, Milo realized how most of the guys who heard the names of their potential wives looked so lost or horrified, as if they'd just been told the world was about to end.

Well Milo was a boy, too, wasn't he? So how come he wasn't going into anaphylactic shock right now?

Maybe the reason was just that simple.

After all, Peapod Kid and (surprisingly) Harold reacted with only looks of either pleasant surprise or intrigue at their results. And most of the other guys, like Sid for example, were drama-queens to one extent or another anyway so their responses weren't all that surprising in retrospect.

_'Still, though...am I really that okay with this?'_

Milo tried to imagine being a man married to a woman with Lila's personality. Hearing her voice after a long day at work, cooking a meal for her whenever she fell ill, having kids with her...sweet yet smart-alecky kids with good common sense yet no sense of propriety...

That future sounded kind of...nice. Sort of bland and cliché but nice nevertheless...

There was only one problem, one that Rhonda brought to the forefront as she fixed Milo with a curious and slightly concerned stare.

"Aren't you going to tell Arnold about this?"

That question brought everything crashing back into the present.

A fierce glare sprang across Milo's face, twisting it into firm scowl. The young artist threw his hands to the sides in stark refusal.

"Absolutely not, you know how desperate he is to win Lila's affections! Remember how he acted when _Arnie_ became her main squeeze?"

He set his hands akimbo, his glare on Rhonda becoming more scrutinizing as if daring the heiress to challenge his argument.

"Can you even _imagine_ how he'd react if he found out his own little brother"—he stuck a finger to his chest—"of all people, beat him to his crush...and without even trying?"

A brief cringe illustrated Rhonda's agreement well. Princess remembered the Arnie-Arnold-Lila triangle episode with startling and disturbing lucidity, especially the part where Helga (of all people) got dragged in. If Rhonda never felt sorry for the blonde before, she certainly did after Arnie declared his futile love for the pigtailed dynamo.

"Point taken—except this brings up another good point: what do you intend to tell Lila?"

Milo's answer came as straight and true as an arrow: "Nothing: that's what."

Rhonda swore her eyes never felt so huge or wide. "You can't be serious!"

"I _am_ serious."

Softening his countenance, Milo let his arms hands fall as he continued.

"We're only kids, Rhonda. We only have so little time left before we become teenagers...well I have a bit more time in comparison but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is that I don't feel that way about Lila yet—and that's considering if I _ever_ come to feel about her that way at all. If she suddenly got in her head that she and I got paired up together, she might confront me about it and..."

He didn't need to finish.

Rhonda got the message.

In fact, if memory served the rich girl right, Lila had been positively relentless when she had discovered Arnold's supposed crush on her a few months ago. And Rhonda also remembered, with a twinge of guilt by the way, how she herself and the other girls mercilessly grilled Arnold about having a crush he'd been so insistent to deny at first.

_'And we really bore into him after he cut his relationship with Lila off.' _

Rhonda couldn't quite say for sure why she and her girlfriends got on Arnold's case and so easily forgot how he _didn't_ want anything to do with Lila in the first place. A sense of female solidarity perhaps...being manipulated emotionally was no picnic after all, even if that hadn't been the case with Arnold and Lila.

Even more, how would Milo have to cope if he were placed in a similar situation?

That question made Rhonda Lloyd worry for her younger classmate since she kind of...respected him.

Granted, his geeky fashion sense wasn't the most flattering she'd ever seen (although then again his was also far from the worse), but there was a sharpness to him, a cleverness that reminded Rhonda of herself in some ways. He was creative, as well, always tinkering and rearranging to see what worked and what didn't.

And besides, he still had her under that threat of revealing a certain secret of hers...one involving a fellow geek whose name she'd rather not speak out loud lest she end up dashing her legacy—and possibly her sanity—asunder.

The things that boy does for Helga...

"Alright then, if that's how you feel, then I'll humbly respect your decision by not sharing your result with anyone." Rhonda paused to look down at her predictor as if it were a fragile piece of equipment. "Besides, as much of a gossip as I am, something about Arnold reacting over you and Lila doesn't sit well with me...and I'd rather not be the one responsible for that."

Milo smiled in gratitude, touched by the heiress's consideration. She didn't show it, but Rhonda had a heart...sometimes.

_'At least this development won't escalate into a full-scale fiasco.'_

* * *

_'Wow...just wow...'_

Helga G. Pataki was beside herself...and considering her personality and quirks (like hiding in empty garbage cans to spy on Milo and Rhonda, for example), that was saying something!

Then again, who wouldn't be beside themselves after hearing what she'd just heard?

Milo and Lila...

Lila and Milo...

Sparky and Miss Perfect...

Miss Perfect and Sparky...

If there was ever a contest for times when the cosmos were being ironic, this moment would definitely take first place.

"Man," Helga softly uttered in befuddlement with a bemused grin in the confines of her smelly sanctuary, back against the metal wall, "if this wasn't the pipsqueak Lila would end up tying the knot with, this would be one heck of a riot! Arnoldo would blow a gasket if he ever found out."

That thought sent her grin into oblivion instantly.

Oh God, if Arnold ever _did _find out...there'd be no telling how ugly the results turned out to be, especially since he and Arnold were pretty close for people who were related by mere association in a boardinghouse.

Pulling out her golden locket from the confines of her white undershirt, Helga gazed longingly yet sorrowfully at the smiling picture of her beloved.

"Oh my love, how cruel fortune has become! The undeserving object of your most naïve boyhood affections snatched out of your hands without your knowledge"—she popped her head back above the opening, peering around the corner for a second, able to hear Milo discussing his feelings over Lila with Rhonda—"And what's worse, Milo, poor sweet Milo, has been unknowingly caught in the same ironic twist of fate as you."

Helga turned back around and swooned as she held the locket to her chest, her eyes closed for a hot second.

"Oh Arnold, though part of me squeals with joy that your affections for Lila will indeed be for naught in the end, another part fears for how you may treat your dear brother for this unintended treason."

She looked back again...and ducked down into her garbage can just in time for Rhonda and Milo to walk around back to the front of the school where Arnold and Gerald were waiting.

As Milo passed the cans with Rhonda, however, Helga swore he caught her eyes for a brief second as she'd been peeking out. Apparently he had on account of the subtle thumbs-up he threw behind his back.

Helga could only roll her eyes at the gesture.

_'Woo boy, Sparky, you are unbelievable. And if Princess's little gimmick really **does** work, then Miss Perfect's ain't seen nuthin' yet.'_

* * *

_'Oh, there they are!'_

Arnold sat up from the front steps once he spotted his little brother making his way back with Rhonda. No smirks, no frowns, no arguing, no audible death threats with an iron mallet...

Both of them looked perfectly fine as far as Arnold could tell.

"Is everything okay?"

The younger boy shook his head at Arnold's concerned query, his casual smile betraying his tremulous emotions. "Yep, everything's fine."

"Well then, who are you gonna end up marrying?" Gerald eagerly butted in behind Arnold, extremely curious to find out which lucky lady would end with Arnold's eccentric mechanic of a brother for a husband.

"Someday I'll tell you," Milo replied in a dismissive tone; his answer seriously deflated the Keeper of the Tales' excitement, so it was time for a change of subject, lest Gerald try squeezing the answer out of him later on.

"So Arnold, do you want to try next?" Milo suddenly asked with his typical laidback smile.

Initially taken back by the directness of the question, Arnold shared a look with Gerald before finally giving in, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, I guess it's only fair."

* * *

**Helga: No point in continuing this chapter; we already know what comes after this.**

**Me: Too true; in which case...don't forget to review folks!**


	3. Move On

**Anyway, Milo and all other OCs belong to me. Everyone else belongs to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon.**

* * *

"C'mon, man! I promise not to tease!"

_'__Yeah and maybe someday I'll be crowned the king of Siam,' _Milo rolled his eyes at the older boy's flimsy assurance. How many times were they going to have to go through this discussion? "Gerald, for the last time, I'm _not_ telling you my result-_period_. Understand?"

"Gerald," Arnold cut in on behalf of his brother, momentarily forgetting his own marriage-related funk, "if Milo wants to keep it to himself, let him. We shouldn't have to make him share it with us if he's uncomfortable about it."

Arnold had all his attention on Gerald, so he never noticed the slight wince that immediately went through Milo's body.

_'__Concerned for my self-preservation would be more how __**I'd**__ put it.'_ Honestly, there were some things just not meant to be heard until the right time.

Gerald, in the meantime, rolled his eyes. Seriously, hearing who Milo got for a wife wouldn't be like getting hold of a case full of classified government information.

_'__Besides, it's not like he ended up with—'_

"Oh hi, Arnold, Gerald, Milo..."

Speak of the sugar-coated devil...

All three boys froze in their tracks at the familiar, sugar-sweet voice. A glance forward confirmed the source instantly, the prominent braided red hair and plain green dress hard to miss.

Arnold blinked in wonder. "Lila? I thought you went home."

"I was going to," the country-girl explained after pulling herself away from the oranges she'd been observing for spots, "but Daddy picked me up and took me grocery shopping instead so here I am."

Indeed, the boys looked past Lila and saw her father at a nearby produce stand. The older man even waved to them with a cheery smile once he noticed them staring his way.

"Oh by the way, Arnold, I heard that you took Rhonda's test."

Time instantly grind to a halt for Hillwood's peacemaker. Arnold _really _wished he could crawl under a rock right now. "O-Oh, you did?"

Lila grinned with an air more giddy than usual. "Oh yes, I have to say I'm ever so touched that you got Helga!"

Arnold and Gerald stared at her in surprise—well shock in Arnold's case. Did they actually just hear her right?

Milo was the only one not shocked since he already knew Lila's awareness concerning Helga's secret love for Arnold. To say he wasn't interested about what Lila, of all people, had to _say_ about Arnold's result, though, would've been a downright lie.

"In fact, I think the two of you would make an ever so adorable couple!" Lila exclaimed as she clasped her hands and shut her eyes in fangirl-like excitement.

_That_...sent Arnold's jaw dropping.

"Ya don't say?" Milo asked with an extremely amused and slightly cruel grin. As much and dearly as he loved his brother, it wasn't everyday he got a chance to see Arnold stuck in such a hilarious situation.

"Oh I do, Milo!" Lila gushed, completely unaware of the little boy's sadistic motives, "In fact, I'm oh too certain they'd have the cutest little family ever as well! Could you just imagine it? So many little Arnolds and Helgas crawling all over their warm cozy home—I know that sounds a bit silly and a bit much but—"

All of a sudden, Lila paused in mid-sentence, her face going blank at something—or better yet a lack of something.

"Lila? What's wrong?" Gerald asked, puzzled by the girl's strange change in expression.

Lila furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she put a finger to her chin. "Um, Gerald, Milo, did either of you see where Arnold went?"

Now was the Keeper of the Tales' turn to look confused; he stared at Lila as if she'd sprouted a third-eye and hypnotized a random passerby into acting like a dancing chimp. He gestured a hand to the area between him and Milo. "Girl, what are you talkin' about? Arnold's right here. "

"Uh Gerald...," Milo piped up, his tone filled with the same puzzlement and his eyes taking in what Lila meant.

"What Milo?" When he turned to address the younger boy, Gerald widened his eyes once he incidentally and finally realized the absence of his best friend. After everybody took in the empty space for a few more dumbstruck seconds, all three kids scanned their surroundings for any traces of Arnold.

No football head in sight.

_'__Maybe I overdid it with the teasing,' _Milo wondered with slight guilt, _'I better just apologize to him once I get home then keep my mouth about this mess from that point on...or for the next five years, whatever works best.'_

"Oh and Milo...?"

The addressed looked up at Lila, "Yeah, what's up?"

"I...I...I hope you're happy with who you ended up with!"

An eyebrow ascended the young artist's forehead at the stutter. Was Lila feeling alright? "Um sure...thanks. By the way, did you take the test yourself?" Milo needed to do a mental double-take. _'Why the hell did I just ask her that?'_

Though she regained her composure, Lila retained a fair amount of meekness as she responded with a shrug of her shoulders and a weak frown, avoiding eye-contact with Milo for some reason. "Well, no, I'm ever so sure I never got the chance. I would've liked to, though"—her frown tipped into a more genuine smile—"It sounded ever so fun.

"I guess so."

For reasons Lila herself could not fathom, something Milo's response nudged her—and not in a pleasant way. "You...guess so?"

Milo shrugged his shoulders, puzzled by the girl's sudden interest in his answer yet deciding to think nothing of it. "It's just a game. It doesn't really mean anything. Besides, your one true love could easily be someone _not _in our class, let alone our school or even Hillwood."

With no warning, Lila's face twisted; wait a second...were the boys seeing things or did she seem a little...angry?

"Some people don't find it to be just a game, Milo," she reacted with a slight huff and her arms crossed over her chest. Her usually bright-verdant eyes darkened.

Her sentiment did not go unanswered. Milo narrowed his eyes a little and copied Lila's gesture, confused and annoyed at the sudden attitude. He'd only given his honest opinion...so what on earth gave her reason to get steamed at him for it?

"Well, _I'm _not one of those people. What's it to everyone else if I don't take it as seriously as them. Love isn't as simple as mix-and-matching anyway."

"Love _is _simple."

"Love is a _trial_."

Lila and Milo continued their subliminal stand-off, Gerald off to the side and feeling extremely awkward at the moment. Seriously, these guys were usually so civil with each other, he thought. What the _heck _was going on between them?

Fortunately, Lila broke the tension with a curt, "I believe my father is calling me," and promptly walked away as if nothing had happened.

_'__Excuse me if I don't buy that crap,' _Milo thought drolly with a roll of his emerald eyes at the girl's retreating figure, _'Thank god I don't believe in such cheap love.'_

With nothing beyond a mere nod to Gerald, Milo stomped his way past Lila and her father (who was just as utterly confused by the brief argument as Gerald was) and towards the boardinghouse.

Honestly, hearing Helga get gushy would've been merciful in comparison.

* * *

"I still don't believe it."

"Which one: Arnoldo's or yours?"

Oh, she had him there. A moment of silence passed on Milo's end of the phone as the young boy carefully pondered Helga's inquiry, hand rubbing the underside of his chin.

"Arnold's but good question...Speaking of whom, you gotta be on Cloud Nine already. It _is_ pretty amazing—and I don't mean that lightly."

Without warning, Helga released a girlish swoon with pure abandon, putting the phone over her heart. It didn't matter to her who heard since neither Bob nor Miriam ever bothered being upstairs at this time of the day, let alone checked up on their younger daughter. Better still, Olga wasn't due for another one of her unbearable visits until sometime next month.

Why should _they_ care about what she did in her private time...as long as it didn't involve setting the house on fire or unleashing a horde of mutant pigeons?

Slipping back into her tough-as-nails persona, Helga scoffed and rolled her sky-blue eyes, despite knowing Milo could see neither of those actions. "Tch, let's just say this, Sparky: I'm gonna be sleeping like a baby tonight."

Back on the boardinghouse end of the conversation, Milo shook his head with a rueful frown, thankful that Helga couldn't see him right now.

If only what Helga's words be said for Arnold as well; last time Milo checked, he was still up in his room like he'd been ever since the two brothers returned home. Arnold didn't even bother returning his Grandpa's greeting, too hung up on his doomed future to even register reality around him.

And for good reason when one thought long enough about it...

The poor guy stubbornly retook Rhonda's marriage predictor test a hundred and nine times—a_ hundred and nine times._ And just like the first time, they all came out the same, the name drilled into the optimist's oddly-shaped head like a devil tent-stake pounded into his skull.

Helga.

Helga.

Helga.

Over and over, time and time again, the flap always flipped over in the end only to throw in Arnold's face the name of the one person with which his boyhood psyche would tolerate the thought of marriage as willingly as a flock of chickens would entrust a hungry coyote to enter their coop.

In short, Arnold was in hell right now—or more precisely envisioning the hell his future would become.

_'__I know Helga's happy, but still...Arnold's having a tough time right now. I figured the girl who's been so dedicated to making his life miserable as part of her effort of keeping her secret love for him under wraps would at least act a __**little **__worried for him.'_

Okay, so Arnold was taking the prospect of marriage with Helga a little too far.

That didn't mean he was off the mark in certain regards. For example, Milo could easily envision an older Helga just as fiery and demanding as her younger counterpart, constantly teasing and ordering around a fully-grown Arnold.

And as good of a person Helga truly was deep down, she could be overwhelming at times, especially when she got upset.

But then again, Milo could only make such assumptions based upon what sort of person Helga has been up to now, knowledge particularly limited by how much he knew of her compared to everyone else (which wasn't much either in all honesty).

"Anyway, pipsqueak, enough about me; let's cut to the _real_ chase."

_'__Oh crap...' _the brown-toned artist softly growled as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, already knowing what the blonde would like to know from him. _'I figured it would only be a matter of time before she went there.'_

So much for the thrilling aspect of eventual holy matrimony with her beloved football-head distracting her...

Oh well. What was the point in delaying the inevitable?

Relaxing himself to the best of his abilities, Milo sighed through his nose as he dropped his hand to the side. "Alright...just get it over with already."

A shifting of sheets on the other line indicated Helga changing positions on her bed. "Let's get serious here, Sparky. You and _Lila_—I mean, seriously, how do you _feel_ about that?" Though neither her question nor her tone showed it, Helga held a strong amount of concern for her little brother.

And in hindsight of Arnold's most repeated romantic escapade, she had the right to be.

Lila acted sugar-sweet and polite so constantly that these traits were to a fault. Even the other most optimistic person in the world couldn't deny that Lila Sawyer's pleasantness could be excessive at times, particularly when she repeated the "ever so" in just about all of her sentences.

Not only that but, as endearing as the girl could be, her sense of romance was...shaky, to say the least. This wasn't to say the country girl was loose; it was just that she seemed to have this slightly obsessive enjoyment of attracting the attention of the opposite sex.

Like when she overdramatized the depth of the water at the Cheese Festival's Tunnel of Love...or when she willingly accompanied Arnie to Evil Twins 2 in spite of her stark dislike for horror movies...

Helga slapped a hand to her forehead.

_'__Criminy, Milo even told me __**and **__Phoebe straight out that he can't stand women who have to cling to their men like they've got magnets inside them. Can't say I blame him; I mean just look at who his mom is.'_

All the while during Helga's analysis, Milo revisited his earlier thoughts about his supposed future. _'I still don't believe in all this marriage predictor crap...but I really wish people would stop treating my result like it's the latest gossip. That's Rhonda's shtick—and she even promised not to tell everyone.'_

He was just a kid, for God's sake. Was allowance to let him leave the future on the backburner for until adolescence too much to ask for?

"To be honest, I don't think Lila and I have much of a future as far as I can tell," Milo admitted as he sat down against the wallpaper-covered wall and remember the subtle argument he had with the country girl earlier today, "She's so willing to believe in fairy-tales and all that jazz. She's too hung up on seeing everything through rose-colored glasses to face reality as it is. I mean, c'mon, why the hell would I want to put with _that_ every day?"

Oh, his criticism provided such music to Helga's ears. Words could not explain glad or relieved that she wouldn't have to go through a repeat of the Arnold-Lila episode.

"Alright, listen Sparky," Helga's authoritative voice knocked Milo out of his thoughts, "don't think I'm going soft or anything just because I'm checking up on ya. I just don't want one of my _employees _getting sidetracked, ya got it?"

Milo couldn't help a smirk at what he'd just been called. Hearing Helga's sarcasm always comforted him for some weird reason. He put a hand to his chest in mock endearment.

"Employee, huh; gee, Helga, I always knew you cared."

The addressed blonde scoffed playfully. "Tch, believe whatever you'd like to believe, pipsqueak. Just don't let it get to your head—or out of your mouth for that matter. Ya know as well as I do how ruthless those yahoos we're forced to coexist with at school can be."

That may not have been so true...at least in regards of Mr. Simmons' fourth-grade class. Milo could still remember with full lucidity the genuine concern his classmates showed him the other day after they found out about the sibling arrangement that stuck him and Helga together.

He never thought anyone outside of his family could ever care about him so much. Then again, hadn't Helga assumed about as much, only to be proven wrong as well?

Perhaps that's why fate stuck these two misfits together.

And maybe, for better or worse, that's why that piece of paper stuck Milo with Lila as well: to prove something.

Prove what, Milo had no idea. Fortunately, he had plenty of years to figure it out.

Until then, he was happy with just the way things were now.

"Don't worry, sis. I already got it. Anyway, I better get going"—he sniffed the air all of sudden and detected traces of cooked meat—"my nose tells me dinner's almost ready. Goodnight!"

"G'night, Sparky."

And just like that, Milo hung up the phone and walked into the dining room, sketchbook and pencil under his other arm. He took a seat by his mother who acknowledged his presence with a brief smile and curt nod.

Returning the gesture and the expression, Milo opened up his sketchbook and got down to business as usual, life going on as it always has.

* * *

In the meantime, after finishing her conversation with her little brother, Helga was just about finished continuing to gush with glee at her good fortune.

Stepping out of her closet after her jovial celebration amidst the presence of her Arnold sculpture, this time adorned with a navy-blue tuxedo and black top-hat, fittingly enough.

"The one boy I've always hoped I would marry...Oh Arnold, Arnold...," she chanted to herself wistfully as she took her locket from off the nightstand next to her bed and kissed it.

Recalling her conversation with Milo dampened her mood somewhat, though, when she thought over the tone used when he'd mentioned Arnold's result being "amazing."

The kid had been dead-on right (as usual). Even with Helga secretly fawning of Arnold over the years, even the Pataki girl had to admit the initial shock she'd experienced the second Rhondaloid announced her as Arnold's wife-to-be.

To the world, the idea of Arnold and Helga together made about as much sense as lions and zebras making out in the savannah.

But hey, a girl could still dream, couldn't she?

_'__And even if all the other yahoos and yutzes out there refuse to believe it, at least you can be mine in my dreams and fantasies, my beloved,' _Helga thought as she tucked herself in bed with a wistful smile. _'And if Fortuna's words are to be believed, my love, then one day surely you will come to your senses and realize we are meant to be.'_

And if Rhonda's predictor turned out to be wrong...well, Helga wouldn't stop loving Arnold any less than she did now.

As for the Milo/Lila development, the fiery poet wasn't too worried. Nothing would ever come about from Milo's result.

Life would go on for all of them as it always has.

* * *

**Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ever say this would be the end? Yeah, right! This was just my way of setting the plot up, which will be starting up much further down the road. **


	4. Let It Be

**Anyway, Milo and all other OCs belong to me. Everyone else belongs to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon.**

* * *

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Arnold?"

No response.

**Knock. Knock. Knock.**

"Arnold, are you up yet?"

Still no response...

**_Knock. Knock. Knock._**

"ARNOLD? C'mon, man, breakfast is almost ready and you know how the boarders are about food!"

When silence turned out to be the fruits of his labor once more, Milo angrily decided to throw courtesy clean out the window. He almost got his hand on the handle, intent on ripping the way open and pulling his brother out and down the steps (unfinished changing be damned), before Arnold promptly opened the door instead, his face red with bashfulness.

"It's about time you came to life," Milo quipped with a frown, arms crossed over his small chest, "when Grandma said you weren't downstairs as early as you usually are, I came up to check if you were okay. What took ya so long anyway?"

Arnold blushed even harder at this information; he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly at how much the aftereffects of his dream had preoccupied him after he woke up.

_'I guess I deserve that question.' _Arnold set his hands behind his back in embarrassment. "Sorry, Milo...I sort of ended up having a crazy dream about something."

Whoa, wait a second! Did he mean he'd dreamt about...?

Softening his expression in realization, Milo shook his head in sympathy. He figured the results from that stupid marriage predictor would get to his older brother. Yet when Milo thought about it a second time, he couldn't help but notice how calm Arnold sounded when he told the truth in spite of the awkwardness of the situation. Heck, he even seemed content.

"Hey Arnold...you dreamed about being...," he looked back down the staircase to avoid being overheard by the boarders or (worse) Grandpa Phil, then turned back to Arnold and whispered, hand cupped over his mouth, "wed to you-know-who, right?"

Touched by his little brother's empathy, Arnold gave him a small smile of gratitude as he nodded in response. "Yeah, I did. Is it okay if I tell you after breakfast, though? I'd rather not explain on an empty stomach."

No use in arguing with a guy over t_hat_ logic.

Shrugging his shoulders and remaining by the door, Milo waited for Arnold to get ready. He didn't have to wait long before Arnold came out again, this time fully dressed. Together, the two boys walked down the stairs and made their way into the hallway.

After Arnold stored the stairs back into the ceiling, he and Milo walked down the hall then the stairs, neither of them minding the usual silence between each other, something they'd always cherished in their own unique way.

By the time they arrived at the kitchen, however, any more chances for quiet had packed their bags and dashed out the door.

"What do ya mean I can't have the damn jam?"

"I got dibs on it, Ernie. So lay off!"

"Oskar, how many times must I tell you? Get your own food!"

"But Mr. Hyunh, I just need a few measly pieces of bread."

"Oskar, leave him alone and get your own food! Honestly!"

"For the love of—will everybody quiet down already!?"

"Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam—"

"Oh Pookie, not that theme again...!"

Milo and Arnold shared a smirk at the sight of their extended family's usual antics. Seeing everybody at their usual craziness always did the boys a deal of good in the morning.

* * *

If only Helga could say the same for her own family, dysfunctional as they were as well.

Of course, that was wishful thinking.

All the same, Helga G. Pataki took this fun-filled fact of her life in stride as well as anyone her age could.

Without even sparing the unconscious Miriam in the kitchen a glance, Helga walked straight out the door, her purple backpack slung over her right shoulder as she walked to the bus stop to wait for her ride to school.

There was a difference this morning, though.

Helga was smiling.

Yes, it was a small smile, and usually the only reason for the iron-fisted queen of P.S. 118 to have such an expression was either pride at an accomplishment (be it a successful fight or well-spent day at the arcade) or a certain football-head. And, as expected, Helga _was _smiling about something Arnold-related.

Why her expression was different _this _morning, however, was due to the feeling of calm behind it.

Last night, she had had what could only be properly described as _the _most stellar dream she ever had in her young life.

Being married to her beloved then kick-starting their lives together with a multi-continental honeymoon complete with her becoming president and a kick-butt spy on the side...

Having Lila cast in as the hopeless antagonist in love was just a bonus—a savory bonus.

A snicker escaped the blonde at that last detail. If only reality followed the same rules as payback...

Oh well.

A familiar roar caught Helga's attention, so she flicked her sight down the street just in time to see the bus coming her way. Once it stopped in front of her and opened its front doors, Helga walked up the steps and down the aisle, looking for an empty seat to occupy since neither Phoebe nor Milo had been picked up yet.

She didn't have to wait because not long after her arrival, a couple more of the other students filed in at the next bus stop, including Arnold and Milo.

Helga perked her ears once she caught wind of the conversation her beloved just initiated with his best friend.

"Oh man, talk about a nightmare."

"Tell me about it. She tricked me into marrying her."

Okay, ouch, hearing that made Helga wince a little. Maybe Sparky had a reason to be wary about Arnold's outcome, after all. It wasn't like the Helga of the present had given Arnold strong enough hints that she could be any better than she was now once they were adults.

Out of the corner of her eye, however, Helga noticed Milo sitting next to Phoebe instead of Arnold and Gerald as per the norm between the three boys. In fact, as Helga listened closer, she realized they were more or less pursuing the same subject.

"Arnold told me about it while we'd been waiting for the bus. It really sounded like a total nightmare for him."

"Oh dear..." Phoebe put a hand to her mouth in concern for her classmate, "I know relationships aren't a matter most males prefer to pursue, but I wouldn't have anticipated Arnold's reaction to be so...extreme, especially in terms of his subconscious."

Nodding his head at the brainiac's comment, Milo returned his attention to the ceiling. "Tell me about it. It's funny, though..."

Meanwhile, Arnold replied to Gerald's sympathetic condolence. "But the weird thing is, in a funny way..."

What Helga heard the boys unknowingly say at the same time made her heart flutter.

"The nightmare kind of turned out to be okay."

It turned out to be okay.

_It _turned out to be okay.

Arnold's dream about her turned out to be okay. Despite everything her dream counterpart did to him, his marriage with her turned out to be okay.

_'His cute little subconscious actually admitted that being married to me might not be so terrible.'_

Arnold even went so far as to say that she turned out nice in the end.

Naturally, Gerald was skeptical about his best friend's words, even going so far as to crack a joke about him catching Chinese flu. From a neutral standpoint, you couldn't really blame him.

Helga, of course, felt anything but neutral, especially right now. Luckily, the conversation she heard coming from Milo and Phoebe in the meantime stilled her temper.

"Did it now?"

"Yeah, Arnold said that after he finally stood up to her, Helga suddenly dropped the uncaring and selfish act. From what I could gather, she sounded...off-guard at how he confronted her...vulnerable even. Arnold got to her so much that she threw in the towel and fessed up about her real self...that she wasn't just all bluster and fume...that she had feelings just like everybody else."

"So did she...?"

"She almost did, I think. Arnold says that's the moment the dream cut off."

Helga had to bang her head against her cushioned seat at hearing that last statement. Criminy, even in _Arnold's dreams_, she never got a break.

Ironically enough, her frustration at Fate got cut off as well, this time by the fashionably late Rhonda Lloyd. In her free hand (the other one carrying the books under her other arm) was the marriage predictor that had started this whole nonsense—or dream come true in the case of certain students.

"Everyone, I have an announcement!" the heiress sounded out for all her classmates to hear, catching even the bus driver's attention for a moment, "last night, much to my dismay, I discovered a flaw in my origami marriage predictor, and well, the fact is..." she gave the paper-fold one final look before crumpling it up and tossing it to the side, "all of the results are null and void."

This news brought on an immediate wave of shock among Rhonda's fellow classmates, their feelings ranging from acceptance to outrage to utter shock and disappointment...and none of them proved more shocked or disappointed than Helga herself.

Milo and Phoebe, perceptive and considerate enough to gaze over their shoulders at their blonde friend, handed her eyes full of sympathy.

_'Oh man, poor sis...'_

_'Oh Helga, I can't imagine how you must feel right now.'_

Neither Phoebe nor Milo paid any more attention to Rhonda as the diva verified the falseness of the results with her classmates one by one, offering them apologies when necessary...at least until the heiress seated herself next to Phoebe, Milo having to scoot up to the window to free up some room.

"I'm so glad I realized the mistake I made," Rhonda commented to Phoebe and Milo as she took her seat, "I should've caught it before. The people I matched up...I mean Arnold and Helga? Could you imagine anything more ridiculous? I mean they couldn't be more opposite."

Milo and Phoebe shared a look, already knowing the searing death glare Helga must be giving Rhonda right now.

"If they actually got married...," Milo sarcastically interceded, humoring Rhonda.

"Woo, tell me about it!" the rich girl agreed with a dramatic wiggle of her fingers, none the wiser to her classmate's actual tone of voice, "What on earth would _that _be like?"

What on earth would such a marriage be like...?

Oh, Milo could fathom a few predictions (all of them realistic yet a generous ninety-nine percent of them amorous as well), and judging by Phoebe's bemused look into space, he knew he wasn't the only playing around with romantic future scenarios involving a destined blonde couple-to-be.

A sudden epiphany struck Milo in the midst of all this matrimonial disclosure.

_'Oh yeah, that also means I might not marry Lila, after all. Oh well, can't miss what you never had.'_

For some reason, that thought didn't make him as happy as he thought it should.

No, he_ was_ happy. He was happy with the way his life was now.

And even if things changed, he'd accept whatever may come for him.

* * *

**I hope this chapter wasn't too boring. It was more of a filler chapter than anything else.**


End file.
